Just what would my ancestors think of me today?

I have had many thoughts about my ancestors as I have studied abroad in Indonesia.  Just what would  Eddie Lane (my paternal great-grandmother, Queen Esther Harden (my paternal grandmother), Horatio Harden (my paternal grandfather), Hattie Mae Hudson (my maternal great-grandmother), Lawrence "Doc" Hudson (my paternal great-grandfather) Geraldine Taylor (my maternal grandmother), Lacey Taylor (my maternal great-grandmother), Lee Cester Taylor Sr. (my maternal grandfather affectionately known as Paw-Paw to me) and all those who I can not name!
I read a poem this morning by Nikki Giovanni that captured a portion of my thoughts and met a very wisdom filled Indonesian woman who spoke life into my journey through this life on Saturday, June 18, 2011 at the Jakarta Convention Center.

I Am A Mirror by Nikki Giovanni
I am a mirror
I reflect the grace of my mother
The tenacity of my grandmother
The patience of my grandfather
The sweat of my great-grandmother
The hope of my ancestors
The prayers of those on the auction block
The bravery of those in middle passage
I reflect the strengths of my people
And for that alone
I am loved

You see from the above poem just what I feel at this moment.....LOVE!  I know that this first study abroad trip is not just for me but for them (those in the past, the present, and the future to come)!  I stand on many shoulders and refuse to let anyone rob me of this moment in my life! Get out of my way if you are not for me....I STAND because they stood for me. I STAND because they are standing with me.  I STAND because they will need me to stand for them someday.

To make sure that I understood and heard the voices of my ancestors, God sent Muksiah Mashad to me at the Jakarta Convention Center.  She spoke fluent English and said these words to me...."You must return to Indonesia. You are needed."  I found myself saying "Yes Ma'am" repeatedly.  She said, "President Barack Obama has made this possible for you." I could feel her pride as she talked about her granddaughter studying abroad in Maryland.  I can only imagine how my maternal grandmother, Geraldine Taylor talked about me (to anyone who would listen):)  I recall vividly the last time I came to Arkansas to get her out of St. Vincent Infirmary.  I got to go back to the room where dialysis was happening mind you....these folks thought I was a medical doctor and started telling me that my grandmother was absolutely PROUD of my many accomplishments.  I assured them that I had a long way to go.  Grandma just seemed to get better all of a sudden and we laughed and within days she was discharged and able to come home.  In August 2008 she went into St. Vincent Infirmary and God said you can not go get her.....I want to take her home.  So to make sure that I stayed in my place, I stayed in Georgia until He came with the sweet chariot and carried her home.  I am crying right now. But I must say that I once thought that the best way to pay respect to grandma was to name my daughter Victoria Geraldine, but this day I know for sure the best way to show respect for my grandma is to say I am a mirror!

To God be the Glory for letting us spend this time together on this side! See you on the other side.